My Mom Wants Me to FAX My Résumé to The View

My mother is a big fan of The View, but she's an even bigger fan of me. So, obviously, when former View hosts Barbara Walters, Sherri Shepherd, and Jenny McCarthy departed from the show earlier this year and ABC began auditioning guest co-hosts to replace them, my mother's response was..."my child should jump on that!"

Why? Fair question.

My Mother: "You're cute. You're informed. You're quick. Young, but not a teenager. Liberal-minded. A lawyer. And you've got such a fun personality! If I were you, I'd check into it. Fax your résumé to The View. Go for it, Ki! All they can do is tell you they don't know you."

(I hyperlinked "fax" in case anyone forgot what one was. WordPress actually highlighted "fax" when I was spell checking.)

To be sure, I'm fortunate to have a wonderful, nutty mother who thinks I'm the best.

But, seriously.

This has come up in almost every conversation we've had over the last five months.

Not: "When are you getting married and giving me grandkids?"

But: "When are you going to fax your résumé to The View?"

I can't say that I'm entirely surprised. She had similar advice in 2011 when Oprah announced that she was retiring from her long-running daytime talk show.

My Mother: "You should go for it! Someone's gotta replace her."

Also My Mother: "I think Oprah would really like you. You should meet President Obama and ask him to introduce you to her. You work right down the street from him."

But this time, my mother has gotten out-of-control.

She isn't just using (really long) phone calls.

There are also 2 a.m. texts: "You have to fax your résumé, Ki. First thing in the morning, you get up, and you jump on that. I mean that."

And this time, she even put a handwritten letter in the mail.

"Hi Ki,

Hope you are safe, healthy & doing well. We are fine. You have very good, valid opinions about topical subjects and you think quickly & on your feet. "The View" should look @ you. They would like you! You have the perfect background!!

...

Let me know.

Love you much.

Love,

Mommy"

This is mind-blowing for several reasons, not the least of which is the fact that my mother has been too embarrassed to tell any of her friends that I quit practicing law in DC and moved to LA to be a comedy writer. If pressed, she'll mumble, "Akilah transferred to LA." So I'm not sure how she has committed to the idea that I should co-host a talk show alongside WHOOPI GOLDBERG.

SIGH. You gotta love mothers.