Swanky Gig Blog — AKILAH GREEN

Last Friday night, I had my first corporate gig. ((A “corporate gig” refers to being hired by a corporation, company, trade association, or similar organization to perform, typically, a stand up comedy routine or a musical act, at a retreat, conference, or similar event. These gigs are often characterized by higher compensation and cushier accommodations than those associated with gigs performing at comedy clubs. Those who hire comics for corporate gigs often require the performer to perform “clean” material.)) It was super swanky! Here is the quick and dirty:

A private car picked me up to take me from Los Angeles to San Diego. (Fancy!)

They put me up at The Grand Del Mar. (Very fancy!)

For the entire afternoon, I paced back and forth between these two beds going over my set.

Then, since I don't know any real warm up or vocal exercises, I paced back and forth in this hallway chanting "versace, versace, versace, versace, versace."

Then, I went downstairs to check out the room, run through the program with the event coordinators, and work out any glitches.

SN: I've heard horror stories about corporate gigs where the hosts didn't provide a microphone or a stage so the comic had to stand on top of a table and yell his or her set at the audience.

Or the host announcing the comic said, "Next up, coming to the stage, we have a verrrrrry funny lady...AND THE BUFFET IS NOW OPEN!"

Oh, the horror!

So we tested out the lighting while I went over my list of demands: "I'll need staff to wait to serve dinner until after I get off of the stage. I'll need a cordless mic. And we have to get rid of this massive podium that is set up in the center of the stage so as not to block my flow...Please and thank you." (I'm very polite, I swear!)

The coordinators were incredibly hospitable and accommodating.

After we were all good to go, I took a walk while the guests filed in and enjoyed a lovely cocktail reception.

Then I came back, and I did my thing for the next 30 minutes.

Among other things, I made fun of the crowd for golfing all day and being in the kind of room where people make off-color remarks about "the 47 percent."

I even dusted off some oldies but goodies...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jl5E0VBv0i8

They had a good time!

(Although no one told me that my puff was flat in the back.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ricexom-mV8

And they reserved a seat for me at the speakers' table.

Having to be "on" for 2 hours after your set can be awful. So, before the set, I had already selected the seat that would allow me to have my back to the audience just in case I sucked and needed to avoid eye contact with people for the remainder of the evening. You have to think about these things!